The Potty Training Chronicles Part II

On Monday we had our sprinklers repaired (from years of neglect from the prior owners) so we can water in this horribly dry season we've been having so far. It seems a bit unusual for Houston to be this dry so early in the warm season.

Anyway, I was outside with the sprinkler guy for a while and had neglected to encourage Quentin to use the bathroom so we didn't have any accidents. He ususally goes within an hour or two of getting home from school and I was trying to wrap up with the repairman. He is not really telling me often that he needs to go, I just take him frequently "enough" and we seem to do okay.

I was outside and Quentin comes running out chanting "I went, I went!!" with no pants on (and I mean NOTHING on except a t-shirt)! I run over to get him back inside and see his dry shorts and underpants on the floor outside the bathroom and the quiet trickle of water running in a recently flushed toilet.

Although I didn't see it with my own two eyes, this was all the evidence I needed. Woohoo Quentin! You took yourself potty for the first time without any help or encouragement!

Sorry no picture of the half naked declaration.

Wow, is it June Already?

Clearly I am having trouble transitioning to this blog insteady of Quentin's blog that was created originally because of the Leukemia. I know because I didn't post HERE in the entire month of May. It isn't because of format, convience, or anything that makes one easier than the other, it's just that I guess Quentin is still a central part of our life and by my basic definition of which updates go to which blog, the other one gets used more. I guess that is representative of how busy the uniqueness of Quentin's situation is still a dominant and driving energy in our lives. Almost every day of the week for me revolves around his schedule. That is probably not that different from most families with children, but I guess I am using our unique situation as a reason why this HAS to be different from everyone else, right?

Except for the other kids at Quentin's school of course, I don't know anyone else who takes their child 17 miles one way to a private school they started at the age of 2 to get specialized therapy.....except for other parents of children with cancer or other serious medical issues, I don't know anyone else who can say they average 3 doctors or hospital visits a month.......I also don't know anyone else who in addition to all that ALSO has 10 nutritional supplements to give their child on a daily basis, if possible.....and then I don't know anyone else who does quite as much cooking-without-convenience as I do for a toddler, which simply means I think (although I could be wrong) that I do more from-scratch cooking for child than I even do for myself and very very few processed, instant, pre-packaged foods that could make meal time much eaiser, simpler, shorter, etc. No one I know has voluntarily taken all this on to make the quality of life better for for a child burdened with cancer at a very young age and everything else that followed. That's because I don't really know many other families with children who had cancer this young, who survived anyway. Oh well.....

It probably still sounds like I am complaining about something again and general busy-ness, but I think I need to remind myself daily about what the explanation is for why I hardly have time to shower, clean my house, or even put away clothes. Literally, this isn't an exaggeration. The 30 minutes to an hour I would need every day to keep up with just that short list doesn't regularly exist.

Let me put it another way by giving an example - Quentin started doing a lot of climbing in the house, a stage every child hits but on average I think a bit younger. He will drag chairs around and get into very high to reach areas of the kitchen, for example. It was stressful, dangerous, interruptive, and very frustrating. I resolved a big part of that issue by putting all the chairs and stools from the main floor into our bedroom. We didn't move the couch and a built in window seat in our kitchen, but that is it.

As it turns out, about a week went by and I hardly noticed I did this or saw it as an inconvenience - to not have a single chair to sit on for meals, to rest, to organize something, to read, to watch TV, even work from home lately, or anything like that. Why is this unusual? BECAUSE APPARENTLY I NEVER SIT DOWN!! I appear to have gone about my normal schedule without sitting down except on our couch to dress Quentin for a minute or two or something like that. I had 5 kitchen chairs (in the main living spaces), 2 barstools, and 3 step stools that I could completely live without and barely even noticed their absence because apparently when I am home I just run around, and sleep in my bed. That is it.

I do believe that all this elective special care, diet and therapy is part of what is an investment into Quentin's future. There is so much power in early intervention. I hear things all the time about how a child's dispostion and behavior patterns are largely determined by the age of 5 because of the rate of brain development in early childhood, or that the power of early intervention can literally change a child's developmental diagnosis or thier projected potential when it comes to life and future independence. I just hope that I am spending both my time, money and energy well on Quentin, and of course, I believe I am. I read an interesting article that supports my beliefs on early childhood care in terms of academics and behavior, but medically speaking, the physical development of the child's brain before kindergarten age is still extremely important to consider.

This quote that came from research compiled by www.nccp.org summed up the basic idea:

"The quality of life for a child and the contributions the child makes to society as an adult can be traced to the first few years of life, with 85 percent of a child’s brain being formed by the age of five. During the first six years of life a child undergoes tremendous growth and change. If this period of life includes support for language, motor skills, social skills and social-emotional functioning, the child is more likely to succeed in school and later contribute to society."

No pressure or anything, but I am just hoping and praying that all my hard work on Quentin will pay off in the end just like the quote said - so he can succeed in school and later contribute to society. I guess I can live with a few clothes on the floor, less than sparkling bathrooms and kitchen, and a slightly muskier smell (on myself) for a few years while I wait it out until life slows down a bit. It will slow down, won't it?

The Potty Training Chronicles

I think someone should've convinced me that language skills, both speaking and listening, weren't required for potty training. They are, to some extent, but I wish I had tried sooner when I KNEW Quentin wasn't ready in terms of communication skills but wasn't as smart as he is today. I waited until I saw all the signs - and once I did, it was too late. He is too smart and knows EVERYTHING he needs to know and just simply WON'T do it.

We have never seen him go, even once, in the potty. He hasn't gone when we weren't looking either. He will hold it and go literally right after we have him sitting on the potty. However, he doesn't appear to be controlling the situation out of spite, I think he has some kind of fear or disinterest in it. The fear could come from the fact that many other things in his routine when it comes to his body are unpleasant, no matter how well he tolerates them. Taking medicine, shots, creams and sprays, squeezing water in his nose to clean it out from allergens, even cleaning his bottom area when his diapers are dirty, etc. He is probably afraid it will become some kind of "for-your-own-good" torture like everything else in his life. Poor kid.

Never the less, we are insisting that he puts his peepee in the potty. A bit ago he went in his training pants, took them off, and started "shaking" them above the toliet to see if the pee would just jump in itself, I guess. I thought it was rather creative, actually. I definitely never shook pee out of underpants into the toilet in front of him (or not in front of him, eww)! I guess he is trying to get closer to doing what we asked of him because he can see that we aren't going to let up - it will and has to happen eventually. The funny thing is, this kid LOVES to be right, and answer questions, and just KNOW things. If I knew how to challenge him to do this because NOT doing it implies that he is just not learning it correctly, that would drive him crazy because of his personality. He likes to be right, and make sure everyone knows it. I think he takes after his mom. I am sorry to all you who already knew that about me - I am just now coming out of that closet and admitting it.